I am at a stage in my life where I’m starting to take a long look in the mirror and see all the things that I have done to put me right in the place where I am. In my self-reflecting, I have been asking myself a crucial question, what are all the ways that I hinder my own self growth and journey?

I often think of the greatness that I could achieve if I didn’t practice so much self sabotage and simply just believe in myself and my gifts. Sabotage, by definition, is to “deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something)”. In taking a mirror to myself, I realize I tend to engage in some unintentional things that cause myself sabotage. There’s two main ones for me.

Verbally and Mentally Doubting Myself

I do way more doubting of myself that I care to admit. This manifests itself in various ways depending on your style of self-sabotage. For me, I will flat out say or think, “I can’t do that”, “I won’t be successful”, “I can’t do this under these conditions”, “There is too much/this is too hard”. More commonly for me, I tend to question when I am told by others that I did well at something or that I am capable of something. My first response is to become suspicious and overthink about the complement. Was it genuine? Were they just being nice? What is the intention of this person? Or, I brush off their praise and instead begin to list all the things that I did wrong and make that space of praise an uncomfortable one with my doubt.
Thoughts and words are so powerful and saying or thinking them, sends messages to the brain that it really can’t be done. It’s simple, and sometimes cliche, but believing in yourself and saying it in your mind and out loud will change the game for you.

Anything that you want to be, anything that you want to achieve or become can be spoken into existence. When you do that, you open your mind and allow the universe invite the exact energy that will be needed for you to have the success that you desire

There’s this quote by Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, that says,

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

Procrastinating

Some people take pride in the fact that they wait until the last minute to get things done and are able to get them done with success. Some even say that procrastinating gives them a thrill and the pressure allows them to produce their best work. That’s fine! What works for some won’t work for all. I know for me, waiting until the last minute to take care of or complete something, causes me so much unnecessary stress, anxiety, fear, emotional turmoil, etc.

The main thing is that I can’t do my best work when I’m in a stressful state of mind. I always feel regret at would could have been when I wait until the last minute to complete a task. I often am so stressed at the task, that I develop this lackluster attitude and care more about getting it done, than getting it done right. I know for a fact that my best work requires time and TLC that comes with putting in work way before the deadline. Yesterday with my students, I used the expression that Rome wasn’t built in a day to get them to see that as writers, they have to treat their writing as empires and work carefully to use the tools correctly and take their time to write. Sometimes greatness takes time and it’s about being honest with yourself and realizing if waiting until the last minute every time is going to allow you to reach true success.

What Next?

The first step is to be honest and to acknowledge the ways you are blocking your own blessings. What it is that YOU do that you realize is slowing down the momentum on your journey? Once you identify those things, address them. What can you do to build better and more positive habits that allow you to have unprecedented success?

I have started with speaking my goals out loud and writing my goals as it gives me a visual and verbal reminder of what I need to do and I can “eat the elephant” one bite at a time.

My other method of growth mindset is using affirmations, they really work. Start small, even this morning I was thinking negative thoughts and I stopped myself and said out loud, “I can do, I WILL do it”. In doing that, my goal is to speak and welcome productive and positive energy into my life. What ways will you undo your self-sabotaging?