Jasmine Nicole

I HATE crying. I personally feel like it does nothing for me. I don’t feel any less stressed, any less upset, or relieved after I cry so I just don’t. And I have a history of not getting a positive response either when I do cry. However, I am surrounding myself with more positive people and that has changed. I also just live a life where I’m moving so fast throughout each and every day that I often don’t stop long enough to address the emotions and the moments that would make me want to cry. When I do get to that point, I push it down so far that it is hidden deep enough where I don’t have to deal with it.

Crying, however, has been proven to reduce the effects of emotional and physical pain alike (I did my research, it’s true). Aside from my personal reservations, I know that crying can be good; it’s okay to shed some tears. I think when you allow yourself to let go that much, and to me that is truly letting go, you can allow yourself to heal from whatever you may be going through or at least address what it is that you are going through and make plans to find a solution.

I am a person who uses humor and smiles to mask what I am going through. When that doesn’t work, I turn to isolation. I don’t want to emotionally struggle out loud so I either smile about it and brush it off or hide it from the world. That tends to allow so much to build up until I am left with an emotional break down. I’ve built up such a big wall around allowing myself to let go and release all of those responses, that it hurts to do so.

That’s no bueno.

I cried at work yesterday during a meeting, I’m still traumatized and embarrassed by it, but it happened. I was feeling the pressure of everything push at me and I cracked. I was surrounded by people who lifted me up and made me feel good afterwards.

I realize that when I do cry, it’s because I’ve allowed myself to let go and to show emotion in a space that is safe, or I’ve gotten to a place where holding it in is no longer an option. Either way, I’m trying to tell myself it’s okay to cry. It is okay to show emotion and let emotions out. It’s okay to be vulnerable.