Jasmine Nicole

Sometimes it’s hard to see past all the emotional and mental distresses that you may be going through. You may be in that season of your life where you feel as if nothing is going right or that you aren’t capable of anything great. When that happens, you have to find creative and new ways to encourage yourself and give yourself credit for the things you do. The sooner you learn how to find validation within or from yourself, the better, because that mindset will be something that no one can take from you.

However, that’s all easier said than done because we are plagued with a society that defines success by the end goal and ignores the process that it took to get there. People only give recognition when you’ve made it to the top, not when you’re in the mud climbing to the top. Unless you have a million likes and followers, tons of money, lots of flashy materials things, an unquestionably successful business, etc, people won’t pat you on the back. It can be hard to see your worth when we get bombarded with those messages from everywhere and everyone.

I find that when I refocus and bring my accomplishments down to my level and bask in the things that are more attainable, I’m happier with my life. It’s a mix of gratitude with reality. I will find joy in the smaller things, the small things that will eventually make itself into something bigger. It’s like those tik toks where someone captions it, ‘how my family reacts when I leave my room before 12’ accompanied by the sound of a studio audience clapping. While those are funny, it’s that exact way of thinking that can build into this mindframe of giving yourself credit for something that seems small when you aren’t exactly feeling your best.

Here are a few simple things that I do daily that are within my reach and they make me value what I do everyday.

1. Being active

Now I say being active because I don’t want to confuse it with a workout regimen or make it seem as if it’s a whole lifestyle, because that could be strict and intimidating which is the exact opposite of what I want to accomplish. When I started being more active, I wanted to tone and flatten my stomach, I had specific goals, but after a while I just decided that I just like being active. Depending on my mood, I will somewhere choose a more intense workout or sometimes I just walk for 20- 30 min in place, in my living room, and that’ll be it. I do a little of everything because to me, it’s just about feeling good and having something that I can say I accomplished at the end of the day. Personally for me, I love the joy that I feel at the end of the day when my Apple Watch buzzes and says I closed one of my rings on the fitness app. I’m sure it’s the same sensation you get when someone likes your photo on IG or Facebook, except this was all me. I earned that and if I do it again and again, it’s a guaranteed boost.

2. Bedtime/Wake Time

Sounds silly right? Yeah, maybe, but as adults we know how important it is to go to bed at a reasonable hour to be ready for the day and then to wake up on time when that first alarm goes off. Going to bed on time already puts me in this positive mindset that tomorrow will be good because I’ll be well rested, and even if the day turns out to be bad, at least I won’t be tired. When I go to bed late, I’m already thinking about this snowball effect of things that will ruin my day. I’ll snooze my alarm a couple times, then I’ll need to go get an espresso drink from a coffee shop to stay alert at work, and those things will lead to me being late, rushing to work, and not being able to settle in when I get to work but instead I’ll have to hop right in, and just that thought of that will annoy me, then my boss will text me…etc. You get the point. So when I find myself meeting my bedtime and wake up goals, I reprogram my brain to say, “ Hey, look at you, meeting your goals, good job”. It’s small, but it’s still a pat on the back.

3. Small Chores

I won’t spend to much time on this one, but the older I get, the more I realize how messiness and chaos triggers my anxiety. However, cleaning can be overwhelming and that also triggers my anxiety. Whew…so what I do is literally break my chores down. If my house is messy from top to bottom, I take it room by room and even if that’s too much in the moment, I focus on one thing in that room. For example, if the whole kitchen is messy, I’ll just choose dishes for the moment. Or lately what I’ve been doing is stopping to take a moment and clean when things are kind of messy instead of waiting until it’s too much. In those moments, I’ll repeat this mantra, “Tidy people clean as they go”. It reminds me that cleaning small things here and now will save so much time later and breaking down chores still allows me to set a goal, but one that is easier to make. And again, after a long day and picking up just the clothes off the floor in my room makes my brain go, “Okay, good job on the clothes, tomorrow we get shoes and books”. I give myself props for the work I did for the day and that makes me feel good.

So these are the simple things that I do to ensure that I find time to honor myself in the small things. I’m learning that while I can’t control what others do and say, I can control how it affects me and I can control how I feel about myself every day.